Brrrrr!

We go walking almost every morning ~Me and Melinda, Lilly and Ginny. We walk Lilly to school and then around the park beside the school 6 times (because it adds up to 3 miles), and then home.
Today was different, though, and we felt like we needed to reconsider the time of our exercise ritual. We weren't driven home by wind or rain or sleet or hail, but it was the cold!
Right now, it's still Autumn, and soon Winter will appear as barren and sleeping trees and other foliage, sprinkled with evergreen, but no snow. Even so, our walks are destined to be scheduled for later in the day in order to keep us going. Not only will this help us to be warmer, but we may actually get some things done at home before we venture out!
Anyone want to come?

About Kids!!

Well, our kids did it! They grew up and then they moved out on their own! But we all want our children to take wing and fly, as long as it isn't too far or for too long. Couldn't there just be a rule that says they must stay within a 10 mile radius?

We have 6 children and 11 grandchildren and now another beautiful baby on the way. We are very excited, but Shannon's new little one will be born in Japan! I hope to be able to go to Japan when the time comes, but a little visit is never the same as living close and being able to share Family Home Evenings, Sunday dinners, holidays, and caring for grandchildren while parents are out. Don't get me wrong, I truly do enjoy and appreciate those visits but the "good-bye's" are very hard to do and the "hello's" are too far apart.

Celeste doesn't live very far away, only a 2 1/2 hr. drive, but we still don't get to spend enough time with her and her family. Then there's Dawn and Mark and Sam, who live in Utah. I love Utah, but once again, it's not conducive to having a day-to-day relationship.

Our daughter, Suzanne, has moved here with her children while Jared is deployed to Iraq for a year. I wish he didn't have to be separated from them but then I'd want him to be here, too, but without this deployment they'd all still be on Oahu; all the way across the ocean and might as well be a million miles away! And now, I am so thankful to be able to have a real, tangible place in their lives on a daily basis. It means the world to grandparents everywhere to be able to spend time almost whenever they want, with their children and grandchildren.

I suppose that children should be able to have a life of their own, and that they deserve the opportunity to "do their own thing", but please, do it a bit closer!

Bob Hope and Me

Thanksgiving Day has come and gone from this year's calender of events but as the shoppping, cooking and storing the food of the feast is done, I've begun a bit of a sentimental journey. And I, along with the ever famous and beloved Bob Hope, must sing, "Thanks for the memories".
I remember back, a long time ago, when my Grandma and Grandpa Shipp stepped up and let us live in their house; my Dad and Richard, and me. Those bittersweet years were made so much brighter by the warmth of caring grandparents.
Today, our traditional Thanksgiving dinner looks very much like the ones that were prepared every year at Grandma's.
When I grew up and moved away from San Francisco, I took notice of how my childhood memories seemed so dark. It wasn't because they were bad memories but it was because of the fog! I still to this day find comfort in quiet lights and overcast weather.
At the approach of Christmas, as we deck the halls and trim the tree, I am taken back to the shimmering, silver streaming icecicles individually placed on the tree, that Grandma called, "rain" in honor of where we lived and what would have meaning for us.
Now it's time for us to trim our own tree again. This year the tree is small. With no little ones of our own here and with our limited space, downsizing seems in order, but this year, I think I'll bring home a sprinkle of "rain" to put on our tree in honor of my family and how my early years were blessed by my Grandma and Grandpa.
Bob Hope lived an entire century, bringing fun and laughter to thousands, helping them lift their spirits and see the good and the humor and the "hope" in life and I want to be more like him. I believe that much of our happiness in life comes from gratitude, and so I, like Bob, sing again, "Thanks for the memories".

Ten Free Days

In answer to this last Priesthood blessing, I was not given instant relief from complete drug withdrawal but after two sleepless nights, I called the Master Herbalist and was told about a little herb called Valerian. When the root is taken in dried form it calms nerves without causing drowsiness, but the fresh extract will help you sleep. You also can't overdose with Valerian, it's completely safe. WOW! It has been an amazing help. Between the two, and Tylenol I am truly never going to have to use Hydrocodone again, and I couldn't be happier!!!

Final Report ~ As of December 4th, I have been 4 days and nights without Tylenol or Valerian Root and have now become symptom free!

Our Intrinsic Value

As is usually the case in Priesthood blessings I did not receive the answer I thought I wanted.
Usually I am told that I will know what to do to bring about the desired result, and I've wondered, "Why can't I just have my wish?" (as though Heavenly Father was in the Genie business!) I am thinking that I just want to be healed like other people seem to be. But after many years and many blessings I have come to realize that in my blessings I am promised a greater gift if I will do a bit of research, along with prayer and follow through ~ the gift of Knowledge through practical experience.
In tonight's blessing again I'd hoped simply to be healed. I'm wanting to be free of pain pills. I don't like the anxious pains of withdrawal and I just want it to go away! I've worked hard for this blessing and I've been constantly aware of withdrawal for about 6 weeks as I've decreased dosage amounts and frequency of use.
In my blessing I was told that my plan would succeed and I would, by the end of this bottle of pills, be free of addiction; it was not taken away. No free gift. So I feared the pain of the path and I wished I could somehow escape. I wondered what else I could do.
I thought I might find some answers in church tomorrow, or in the scriptures, but instead I found the answer in various talks from last April's General Conference we began to listen to on our drive home.
After a little pondering and prayer I have begun to see that the Lord has something else in mind. He wants to spend more time with me. He wants to walk and talk with me and give me gifts along the way, as I place my hand in His.
It also makes me wonder why. What would He have to gain by keeping company with someone like me? My understanding deepens as the words "intrinsic value" are brought to mind. It's even more than love. The word "intrinsic" is defined as "belonging to (someone) by (their) very nature; as the very essence of (Himself/His Family); innate, inherent, inseparable from the (person Himself); comprising, being part of a whole (Eternal Family)." And He values me because of it, just because I am His. This is very humbling and at the same time, uplifting. It gives greater faith and hope.
So, once again, I did not receive the answer I thought I wanted. I am getting something much better.

Almosts

Now that memories of the car accident are beginning to fade and discussions about it are finding their way to the shelf, I have consciously seen what it means to "go home and GET well".
I guess to explain a bit about the "getting", I would have to say that healing and 100% recovery aren't the same things. A wound can heal completely, even almost all by itself, but without the Physical Therapy that sometimes needs to go with it, there may be residual long term (perhaps life-long) consequences.

I never knew this before!
But it's a happy thing, indeed, to finally be able to make this list of almosts!!

- It almost doesn't hurt very much to do those PT exercises! Yes, I will be doing them for a while still, but it's becoming much easier.
- I can almost reach up my back with my left arm.
- The "road rash" is almost gone.
- I can almost sleep on my left side again.
- I can almost reach straight up whereas before, I couldn't even place my hand on my hip.
- And speaking of my hip, the site where they took the bone for the graft is almost gone; practically healed both outside and in.
- I can almost look side to side without too much pain and the range of motion increases every time it's measured.
- The scars above my eyes are fading.
- The shower doesn't hurt anymore when the water hits my head and the sensitivity to touch is almost gone.
- The numbness in my face is also almost gone. Most of the time I don't even realize it's still there.
- I can almost feel no stress on my neck when I sleep on my pillow.
- The long cut I had on the back of my head almost doesn't hurt anymore when I rest my head back in the car.
- I am almost able to drive myself wherever I want to go! I stick to driving around town but I'm happy with it. :)
- This "almost" is all about balance. So how does a person decide what good posture is anyway? I don't wish to walk around like there's a board under the back of my shirt, after all! But at least I don't feel so stiff anymore! haha!
- But here's the final "almost". Last but not least is the gradual "getting" off those addicting little pills for pain. I am down to just one dose a day instead of every 4 hours. I had t0 learn that the only way to tell if I actually needed them for pain was to NOT take them to see if the pain would come back. These are things I never have had to think of before, but now I am decreasing my doses and should be completely free of them by the middle of November. I never would have thought that I would come to know anything at all about drug withdrawal! But as my doses are decreased I can tell. All the nerve endings in my whole body seem to be standing on end, like a huge case of the flu when you can's stand for anyone to touch you because your skin is so sensitive. But with the withdrawal, the nerve endings feel like they are everywhere, both inside and out. It's a terrible feeling, but isn't that bad as long as I don't try to go "cold turkey"! (And there's nothing wrong with a bit of Tylenol to help ease it in between).
- This isn't an "almost", but I want to include that my hair is no longer falling out due to stress!! LOL!
- There is one thing, however, that will never become an almost, and that is the huge gratitude I feel to Heavenly Father, and my family and friends. My life is forever changed as I have also learned that prayer is not "the least" one person can do for another, it ranks pretty high! And that all those "little things" we do for others are exalting.

The Heroes of Iron County

We went to Salt Lake again, but before we went I did a bit of sleuthing and found out who my rescuers really were. It begins with the Iron County Ambulance and includes the Paragonah/Parowan Volunteer Fire Department. The chief EMT there is Mike Barton, who carries a pager and is on call, even on Sunday morning. They say it is not unusual to see a group of men get up from their seats and leave church to go help folks who have been in an accident such as mine. They, along with other members of the community who give so freely of their time and talents to go out and save lives, no matter the weather, the time, or the inconvenience, are unsung heroes for many. That stretch of highway, Buckhorn Pass, is notorious for accidents because of the long, unbroken scene of countryside that is almost mesmerizing. They have seen it many times and they come prepared to do whatever it takes to pull people from a wrecked vehicle, retrieve their belongings - even helping to clean them up, and then send them on their way, often never knowing if they live or die. But these men and women do indeed make a huge difference in the lives of those they assist.

My heart is full and will forever have a soft place for the citizens of Iron County. It's a beautiful area of the world, with smalltown community; where everyone knows everyone, and they genuinely care about one another, even those who, like me, are just passers-by.

Special Thanks!

There has to have been many, many people responsible for helping me, from rescue, to lab, to hygiene, to surgery, to cleaning my room, to recovery, etc.. I cannot possibly adequately thank all who have been so very kind to me. All I can really do is to say thank you and hope my small words will somehow convey the depth of my gratitude.
I also wish to thank all who visited, sent cards and letters, flowers, and balloons, and who made phone calls. And to all who prayed for my healing. The halo came off in 6 weeks instead of 8. And I set the goal to go to church in my own ward on July 11th, 2010 and we made it! I love you all and thank you so very much.

Random Things I Don't Want To Forget About The Accident

- Part of my face is numb, about the size of my fist. The area is just on the left side of my nose and goes from my eye down to my upper lip. It's like the novocaine hasn't worn off, or, like there's something on my face.
- I feel disconnected from my body because I can't look down and see myself. Since I have to keep my head in this upward position, I have to look in a mirror.
- I'm grateful for hospital gowns and cut T-shirts that come between me and the lambs wool lining on the vest portion of my halo. At first I developed a terrible allergic rash. A couple of weeks before I got the halo off, someone I never saw dropped off 2 thin foam liners to replace the fur. That also greatly helped me endure the Summer temperature.
- I miss familiar food. And pain pills are nauseating. It's so hard to eat, even when hungry. Capsules of herbs also add to the nausea, but I'm making myself take the 25 BF&C, 2X a day with meals. I want to do my part to facilitate a quicker recovery.
- My room mates have been wonderful! 1. Rusty Snow; We laughed and cried together as we shared our stories. She was also in a car accident. She flew home to Seattle after I was there only 3 days. 2. Kathy Herrera was here almost 2 weeks and we got along so well. When she went home to her mother's in Winemucca I was happy she got to go but sad because I knew I'd miss her. We became sisters as we looked out for each other. 3. Peggy was my last room mate. Her husband spent much of the day with her and we didn't get to know each other quite as well, but I enjoyed her company.
- They come and change the dressing on my hip (the bone graft site) almost daily. I sure hope it doesn't delay my ability to go home, but I also don't want to have to run to the doctor for it either.

Reflections

- It has been open season on blessings and miracles in my neighborhood. One in particular is that I have experienced very little pain.
- On looking back at the time I was trapped under the car, I know that I could feel the effects of people's prayers___prayers that hadn't even been said yet. Prayers are retro-active.
- Being trapped under the car was the most terrifying experience of my life. One of our Gospel Doctrine teachers in Turlock, Brother Morris, said that he asked in his prayers how Jesus could truly understand everything we go through. He was taught that in Gethsemane Jesus experienced each of our lives as though it was himself. I now have a profoundly different appreciation for the Savior! Taking the Sacrament will never be the same.
- When you hear a siren, pray for them.
- It is a sweet privelege to help another person to take care of themselves; a great act of charity. I used to think I would resent serving in this way, but I have felt such love and tender appreciation towards those who have helped me.

What I Missed List

Even with all the blessings and my gratitude for them, I was sad to miss some very important events because of the accident.

- The last 2 weeks of Seminary
- The Seminary Bowl
- The final Seminary Breakfast and Movie
- The Seminary Auction
- The Seminary Graduation
- Garrett Yentes' and Michael Bell's Eagle Court of Honor

- Garret Nickell's birthday party and family zoo trip
- Multiple visits with Sam
- Our wedding anniversary
- David's and Dawn's birthdays
- Father's Day

Expect A Miracle!

With the halo on I was unable to get into a car so when I was taken to Dr. Bauman's office to see if I was ready have it removed I went by hospital bus. As I rode along I thought about whether I should think on the positive side or if I should be prepared to handle disappointment appropriately. I prayed and asked Heavenly Father what I should do and as soon as I finished my prayer I looked out the window and saw a car with an advertisement covering the back window and right there in big letters it said, "EXPECT A MIRACLE"! And sure enough, the halo came off that day.

Healthsouth Rehab

I spent 3 days in Intensive Care and then 7 more days, at Intermountain Medical Center in Murray, Utah. On May 27th, our anniversary, I was moved to Healthsouth in Sandy. I was there until July 3rd, three days after they removed the halo and replaced it with a hard collar. Independance Day!
I wrote all of these journal entries on June 23rd.

My Physical Therapists - Laura and Shasta (a student),
and my Occupational Therapist was Charlene.

Charlene has been wanting me to go outside. I envisioned myself walking down a busy street with cars piling higher and higher as people turned to stare at me wondering what was up with the headgear. But, in actuality, we walked on a very quiet street to a little coffee shop where we ordered smoothies and sat outside enjoying our hillside view of the Oquirrh Mountains. It turned out to be delightful and I was able to explain just a bit to a little girl about this halo. It was not the fiasco I anticipated at all.
It was a sweet experience to get to know these therapists and to spend time with them every day. We were able to develop very nice friendships.

Hospital Humor

We've had some fun times here, too!
- On one occasion they wheeled me downstairs for some tests. I could smell open bottles of rubbing alcohol and they had country music playing in the background and I gave them a hard time about their "wild parties"!
- I guess at one point I had so many tubes in and around me that it reminded the nurses of Christmas lights, so we decided I should be decorated like a Christmas tree. They arranged my "lights" and then they used my catheter bag for one ornament and my IV bag for another! Yuck!
- Over at Healthsouth Rehab Hospital one of the Physical Therapists reminded me to lean just a little more to the left or right for better radio reception!
- On June 30th my halo was taken off and replaced by a hard collar. There were some who supposed I was a fallen angel because of stiff-neckedness! Even Dr. Mark Johnson said so! (haha!) He sent me home 3 days later!!